Neil explains why he is a Friend of Arthur Rank Hospice Charity

Neil Costello is married with two adult children and three grandchildren. He is a Friend of Arthur Rank Hospice Charity and he kindly shared his reasons for being a regular donator:

“My first connection with Arthur Rank Hospice Charity began in 2018 when I was a Director for the Cambridge Cambourne 10K run- a charity event organised by the Cambridge & Coleridge Athletics Club which I’ve been a member of for many years. We started it, before Park Run was around, as we wanted to get people who were thinking about starting to run and also some of the best runners in the region too. It is very much an inclusive event, popular with women and open to everyone.

When we got the team together we wanted to involve other charities too. We invited Arthur Rank Hospice Charity to support our event and they put in a lot of effort to help us. Their Chief Executive came to help on the day and you didn’t always get that with charities. It wasn’t just about donating money – we wanted to engage with the charity and that’s what Arthur Rank Hospice did.

I was very impressed and decided then that I would contribute to the raffle. Not long after I signed up, I won a small amount on the raffle, and I thought ‘Why am I taking this money? I want to give it back.’ So, when the Friends of Arthur Rank Hospice Charity (FOARHC) came along, that seemed obvious to me.”

Neil continued:

“I really wanted to support, because I didn’t really know what a hospice did in a detailed sense until we came here. Like a lot of people, I suppose, I thought it was going to be full of people who are in a really bad state and it was a bit like walking through a church where you’ve got to be quiet and not disturb people.

I came for a tour of the Hospice and found it wasn’t at all like that. People were still excited by the fact that there was a brand new building. You could sense the excitement as we were shown the different rooms and it was really impressive. I was really taken aback by how lovely it was.”

Neil shared his personal connections to hospice care:

“At the end of 2019, my identical twin brother, Alan, was unwell. He was given a quadruple heart bypass and then COVID arrived but he was recovering and he seemed to be getting a lot better.

We then found out he had cancer of the stomach but it was stage 4 by the time it was properly diagnosed. He was given three or four months to live but he actually lived longer. He died on 3 January 2022. We had spent a lot of time together, as you’d expect, with a twin brother.

I feel sad that he didn’t know about Hospice services, in his area, earlier. The medical staff who came round and saw him were great but he and his wife didn’t know whether it was the GP who was coming or district nurses or whether it was the local hospice.

Everything was overwhelming at the end and I just thought, ‘You really should go to a hospice’. He didn’t but the hospice at home staff (in that area) did support them.

If Alan had been in a hospice and had a proper statement of his wishes for his care, his end might have been less stressful. I think the carer’s support is also really important too.

A year after Alan died, we came to the Light Up a Life event at the Hospice as a way of taking a deep breath and remembering him in a meaningful way. It was very nice. We put a star on the Christmas tree at the Hospice. Even though he hadn’t been cared for at Arthur Rank Hospice it was definitely a welcoming place.”

Neil concluded:

“Not long after that we received the email inviting us to become a friend of Arthur Rank Hospice Charity. My passion is that people should know about palliative care and that’s why I support via FOARHC.”

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If you would like to become a Friend of Arthur Rank Hospice Charity, please visit arhc.org.uk/friends or telephone 01223 675888.