EAAA Pilot touched by the kindness of colleagues as wife admitted to Hospice

When Eduardo Prato’s beloved wife of 30 years – Rosario Prato, was admitted to the Inpatient Unit at Arthur Rank Hospice Charity, he couldn’t believe the kindness and generosity of his colleagues.

Eduardo has been a Pilot at East Anglian Air Ambulance (EAAA) for five years and is no stranger to fast paced accident and death but he describes his recent personal experiences as a ‘blindspot’ and said he “never ever considered the possibility that my wife would die before me, especially at this age.”

Eduardo shared his heartbreaking story the day before his wife died:

“A few months ago Rosario and I celebrated 30 years of ‘spooning’. ‘Spooning since 1994’ reads a small present that she gave me at the time. It was just ‘another day in paradise’, as I used to say.

Seven weeks ago Rosario and I walked into Addenbrookes Hospital with very minor symptoms just to be told a few hours later that she had an aggressive cancer metastasis in her brain, which had been diagnosed too late. Our world was turned upside down with no warning shots.

As she was admitted to Ward C3 in Addenbrookes we knew the odds were against us. We wanted to make sure that, regardless of the outcome, we would make the most of the time we had.  Thus we decided to ‘start dating’ again, like ‘new girlfriend and boyfriend’. We lowered our barriers, forgot all the bad stuff, looked deeply into each other eyes, enjoyed our presence every minute and celebrated every happy moment that we had shared in the last 40 years.

Seven weeks ago our children learnt that mum was not going to be there for too long, and a couple of weeks later we all learnt that it was a matter of days or weeks rather than months or years. Rosario and I learnt, by watching the stoic reaction of our four that we had done our job. That not only Rosario could die, but so could I and those four arrows would keep going higher and happier, with or without us.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I stopped flying as an offshore pilot in 2015 as we had a business in Aberdeen but we moved to Cambridge in 2018 for warmer weather. After two years here I heard of East Anglian Air Ambulance and I reluctantly met a friend there, as I wasn’t planning to go back into flying. Once I was there, I was blown away – it was amazing things they were doing there and so I joined them.

Seven weeks ago I confirmed the real value of being part of East Anglian Air Ambulance. Firstly, in the last five years I have learnt from them about life and death and first hand. The last seven weeks have been like just another job where the patient is just about to die, only in slow motion, and with a patient that is half my own life.

In the same way that happens in a job with the worst outcome, I’ve experienced how the focus has shifted from saving the patient to making death comfortable for the patient and her family. But what I hadn’t experienced before is the solidarity of the team outside work. They have flooded me with messages, long and short, face to face, all sort of media and phone, and with the silence that says ‘I’m here for you’. All of them at the right time. And then I learnt two weeks ago that they came up with the silly idea of feeding me and my family at Arthur Rank Hospice! and paying the Bistro tab. Not any family, but a family with four kids!

I felt humbled and speechless when I was told about the Go Fund Me initiative. For the first two days I did nothing. I thought that it was charity money and I felt it was inappropriate to use charity money to pamper myself. But on the third day, I had gone through a very bad patch (looking after your dying wife is soul building, but not always easy). So, I went and had a chocolate muffin on ‘EAAA’, to feel the love that I really needed that day. And then, hours later I learnt that the idea and the money had actually come from my colleagues, the team themselves!

Three things came to mind straightaway:
1. What a great bunch of guys… I want to be like them!
2. These guys are really amazing… I really want to be like them!
3. Does the Hospice Bistro sell beer or wine, so that I can top up the cellar?

The answer to the ‘beer and wine’ question was ‘No’ though, so I’m having as many muffins, roast and anything tasty that reminds me of their love as often as I can (I’ll need to change size soon at this gluttony rate).

Whether 30 years of spooning or 7 weeks of dating, it has been the happiest period of my life. And this is just the beginning. Despite the massive sadness that we feel today and soon will come to a climax with the peaceful passing of Rosario, I choose to say ‘it is still another day in paradise’.

I have four cheeky monkeys to bring up, with whom I will keep celebrating Rosario’s life until my time to kick the bucket comes.

And I’m so looking forward to going back to base and hug them all, share my inappropriate jokes of hospitals and nurses, life and death, marriage and widowing. But above all, to share my experience of what true love of a wife feels, true love of children feels, and true love of my colleagues, the greatest bunch of guys I’ve ever met, feels. Thank you all!”

Eduardo, 53, originally from Venezuela and Rosario, 52, originally from Argentina, met over 40 years ago. So, it was no surprise that he wanted to stay with Rosario around the clock after she was admitted to Addenbrookes Hospital and then to Arthur Rank Hospice, to make sure he was always there when she woke up. He described her as his ‘Sleeping Beauty’.

When Rosario first arrived at the Inpatient Unit she was happy that she had been transferred to the Hospice environment. The facilities at the Hospice meant that Eduardo and their four children, Eva, 26, Igor, 24, Sofia,15 and Felix 14 could prioritise Rosario and come to terms with the situation and experience some happy times saying goodbye to their Mum, whilst giving her a peaceful end with her family. They have been able to take a break in one of the family apartments, the Bistro or distracting themselves by playing on the piano with Helen Loth, Music Therapist. Eduardo also had a visit from chaplain Stuart Wood and said despite not being a religious person it was a visit he found very helpful.

Eduardo explained:

“This was all new to me. A month and a half ago I didn’t know anything about the Hospice or palliative care. I have been coming to terms with what is happening. To me the glass is always half full. It is amazing how all the nurses and doctors have been and supported both Rosario and the whole family. We have become like a big family here with the staff and other patient’s families. If it wasn’t for the Hospice it would have been a different story, we are so lucky– it was a God send.”

He continued:

“The biggest gift Rosario has given to the children and me is a better perspective about death and life – to live life to the full and be ready to die tomorrow. At the Hospice I read a book ‘With the end in mind. How to live and die well’ by Kathryn Mannix, recommended by chaplain Stuart Wood. (Kathryn Mannix was a guest speaker at the Charity’s annual lecture in 2021). I think this book should be compulsory for everyone working in the health system, to help them shape the future in a nice way, nothing dark. As a society we try to turn a blind eye about death – but it is the one thing that is certain. The best way to prepare to die happy is to live happy.”

Eduardo plans to volunteer for the Charity in the future as the family want to pay the kindness forward. The Charity would like to thank Eduardo for sharing his personal story with us.

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If you would like to find out more about Arthur Rank Charity please do so here arhc.org.uk.  It will cost over £13 million to run services at Arthur Rank Hospice Charity in 2024/25  if you would like to donate please do so here arhc.org.uk/donate/